And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
