i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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