i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
