But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
