I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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