I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're so nebulous sometimes
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
