Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
