alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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