Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
