you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
