WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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