dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
