Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
