i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
