she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
