You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
