fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
