i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
