Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
