What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
