ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
