She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
