if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
