one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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