But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
