two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
