He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
