just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
