Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize