Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Michael Bay diarrhea
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
