Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm really busy with my period
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
