this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
