Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize