Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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