so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
