is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
