talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
