she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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