I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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