YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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