So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
