But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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