What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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