I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
