So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
