Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
