shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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