I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
