I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
