I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
