Even water is tasting like jack daniels
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
