oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
