What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
