So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
