Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
