Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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