Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
